A Father’s Role

By: Ebony L. McCline

A while ago, I wrote a piece, “Daddy’s Little Girl,” in which I described how affected I was by not being fortunate enough to have my father in my life on a consistent basis. I expressed my deep-rooted desire to be a “Daddy’s Girl.” A few years later, as I approach the prospect of having children of my own, I tend to dwell on just how important this same thing may or may not be to my own children, vowing to always keep both parents in their lives. 

I find myself examining the types of households that surround me. The reality is that the majority of African-American families are headed by single mothers, which has unfortunately become the norm. Then, I take a closer look and realize the sheer number of mothers raising boys/young men with little or no help from the fathers. Being the product of this very situation, it concerns me that the cycle is continuing. 

Honestly, even though it's clearly being done, the likelihood of a woman raising a man the same as a good father would is quite slim. As much as little girls need their mothers for “girl” stuff, the same is true for little boys when it comes to their fathers. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll definitely acknowledge the fact that just by having a male figure present (a grandfather, a uncle, or a God-father) may make a bit of difference. After all, it’s still a father figure, right? While this may hold some truth, I can still contend that the love of a father can’t be substituted no matter how hard someone tries. 

To the women of Generation Y, accepting the fact that the father of your child isn’t around is not acceptable. To the men, not being present in your children’s lives is definitely unacceptable and bouncing in and out at your own convenience is even worse. The point here is to break the cycle that has being going on for far too long.