Everything Doesn’t Need an Upgrade

By: Ebony L. McCline

While catching up on some news, I ran across some rather disturbing information. Apparently, Monopoly is the newest casualty in the world of technology.

The joy of holding paper money in your hand is gone. The great feeling you get when you land on “community chest” or “chance” is gone. The freedom to move your own body as much as you want is gone. Instead, a debit card will let you know your balance, “community chest” and “chance” is all done electronically, and an infrared sensor will detect your every move. So, that trip to the bathroom may be out of the question. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that there’s a huge tower that sits in the middle of the board. You know, the middle of the board where you use to roll the dice, which is no longer a feature.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan of technology, but while stumbling upon this information, I was quite disturbed for a number of reasons:

1. Looking at your huge pile of money, while the person who landed on your property has a thin, sickly stack of bills is the best part of the game. Take that away, then where’s the excitement when someone lands on your property. The idea is to make the most money and have other players envy you. A debit card doesn’t have the same impact.

2. Having no dice in monopoly is like having a laptop with no internet service. What’s the point? Rolling actual dice makes you feel like a big shot, especially when you get doubles!

3. I know I’m not the only one that gets excited when I land on “chance” or “community chest.” As soon as I pull the card, I always look at the other players to make sure they’re not trying to look at it, too. I know, it’s weird, but it always feels like it’s a secret, at least until you read it out loud.

4. Last, but certainly not least, I’m not sure how comfortable I am with sitting in one place for too long. For this reason, I’m equally not as comfortable with having a 10-inch computer tower telling me what to do. Maybe my mom turned her back and I want to move 10 spaces and not two, that’s MY prerogative, right?

Maybe I’m just getting old, but I’ll always prefer the “old” version that’s sitting in my hall closest. I’ll leave the “new” monopoly to the younger generations!